Yet...

I was teaching Caid the 10 commandments. When we got to "thou shall not kill," he said, "Well that's one I haven't done."

Important clarification

Jack: "Why did Grandma Holly give me this?"

Me: "It's called an Advent calendar. When all the chocolate is all gone, it's Christmas."

Jack's eyes light up.

Me: "Wait! Let me rephrase that. You eat one piece of chocolate a day, and when it's all gone it Christmas."

If it was a snake it would have bitten him

Jack: "Hi, Mom."

Me: "Hi, Jack."

J: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Well, don't you have food sitting right in front of you?"

J: "Oh yeah, I forgot."

He's quite sure of himself

Me: "Caid, you look very handsome in that shirt."

C: "Oh man, now that girl who is in love with me is never going to leave me alone."


And earlier this week...

C: "There are four girls who are in love with me."

Me: "Four? Who are they?"

C: "___ and ___ at school. And Charlotte and Ashley."

In 17 years I'll be elderly

Sarah had to write a persuasive paper arguing either for or against the elderly being able to drive. She said it was a dumb assignment because of course everyone would be against old people driving because it's not safe (her words - not mine).

I asked her to define elderly for the purposes of her argument.  Here response..."I dunno. Like 54?"

Sharing

I sat down with a bowl of popcorn, and Jack came over to see what I was doing.

J: "Mom, do you like to share stuff?"

Me: "Yes." (After all, I'm trying to teach him good life lessons.)

J (eying my bowl): "Like copcorn?"

More on cheese

I'm in the kitchen cooking dinner. Caid and Jack are playing Wii.

C: "Mom!"

Me: "What?"

C: "Jack cut the cheese."

J: "No, I didn't."


30 seconds pass.

C: "Mom!"

Me: "What?"

C: "Jack cut the cheese."

J (exasperated): "No, I didn't!"

Me: "Caid, I don't want to hear it."

Another minute.

C: "Mom!"

Me: "What now, Caid?"

C: "Jack cut the cheese."

J (shrieking): "No, I didn't!!"

Me: "Caid, stop talking about cutting the cheese."

Another minute.

C: "Mom!"

C: "Mom?!!"

C: "Moooooooommmm!!!?"

Me: "What is it, Caid?"

C: "Jack cut the cheese again."

J: "No, I didn't! I don't even know how to cut cheese!!!"

The perfect body is unattainable

Jack loves to build robots. He has made his tricycle, a rocking chair, a hat, a toy camera, and more into robots. I came home yesterday, and he had turned my entire dresser into a robot. Last night before bed he wanted to make one more robot but was stressing about it. I asked Sarah to help him find a body for this robot.


S: "How about this?" 


J (sobbing): "No!" 

S: "Why not?" 


J: "Because it's not perfect!" 


S: "How about this?" 


J: "No!" 


S: "This?"

J: "No!"

(etc, etc, etc)


S: "Well, what do you want to use then?" 


J: "I DON'T KNOW!!"


And then he fell in a heap on the floor and cried. Being four is so hard.

On the way to school

Caid: "Gracie called me Katie."

Me: "It's a term of endearment."

C: "What?"

Me: "It means she loooooooooooooves you."

Gracie: "No, it doesn't"

Me: "I used to called you Caid-E when you were a baby. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what she meant."

G: "No, I didn't. I meant Katie."

C: "Mooooooooooooom."

Me: "It's okay. You can call her Greg."

C: "No. I think I'll call her Spencer."

(sounds of scuffling in the backseat)

Me: "Y'all quit it."

C: "She called me Katie again. She started it."

G: "Well, he called me Spencer."

Me: "I'm going to call you both GroundedfromplayingWiiandwatchingTV if you don't quit fighting."

Sarah: "That's a very long name."

Ewwwwww!!!!!

Kids: "MOM!!!! Come on - the movie is starting!!!"

Me: "I'll be there in a minute. I'm kissing your dad right now!"

Kids: (Barfing noises) "Groooooooooooooossssssssssssssss!"

Oh, I see how it is

Gracie's been telling us for weeks that she can't see the blackboard at school. (Blackboard? That's probably not right. Do they even have blackboards any more?) So on Tuesday she had an appointment with the optometrist.

First the nurse gave Gracie the standard "read-the-letters-on-the-chart" test. She failed miserably. Nurse probably wondered why the girl wasn't walking into walls. An 8-year-old should not be this blind.

Next she went in with the doctor, who did some other tests, dilated her eyes, etc. Something wasn't adding up. She left the room and came back with a pair of glasses. Gracie put them on and did the eye chart test thingy again.

Guess what? She read it perfectly. Amazing! Miraculous!

Guess what else? The glasses were fake. My child was trying to pull one over on us. Apparently, glasses are very fashionable, and Gracie wanted a pair.

Here she is sporting glasses with her nerd costume at Halloween.

Confession is good for the soul

So Caid has been sick for about a week - a cold that turned into a deep cough on Sunday night. On Tuesday we took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with bronchial asthma and prescribed breathing treatments and steroids. He was feeling much better yesterday and this morning we were sending him back to school.

As we got in the car, I remembered I had not given him his medicine, so I ran back in the house grabbed a pill from the bottle with his name on it and a cup of water, and shoved it to him in the back seat. I dropped him off for school, and twenty minutes later received a call informing me that he was so sick he threw up in class, threw up as they carried him down the hall - too weak to walk, and threw up more in the clinic. What the heck!?

My husband was able to run get him and we talked on the phone trying to figure out what had caused this relapse. I pondered whether I should have given him the medicine with food and asked Danny to check the bottle. With alarm in his voice, he said, "Did you give him this medicine on the counter?" Uh, yeah. "This isn't his medicine. This is Ambien." What?!? I gave my baby a prescription sleeping pill?!!?  I pulled into CVS and conferred with the pharmacist, who called Poison Control, and was reassured that I had not given him enough to be toxic.

Caid and his daddy share the same first name, and therein lay the confusion. Thankfully, Caid managed to upchuck the offending medicine, and after a nap was feeling just fine. Well rested, even.

But I voluntarily took myself off the list of nominees for "Mother of the Year." And then I got to thinking, I probably should have removed myself a long time ago.

Other reasons I should not be under consideration for "Mother of the Year" (aside from the fact I gave my six-year-old an adult strength, prescription sleeping pill by accident):

1. Jack has been wearing the same shirt for four five days in a row. I guess that means he has not bathed since Sunday.

2. Gracie had to walk laps at recess in second grade because I forgot to sign her agenda - even though she handed it to me with a pen.

3. Sometimes I send my kids to school wearing socks of different colors because I just hate sorting socks. In fact, I've been known to go out and buy new socks rather than sorting the socks in my laundry basket.

4. I only wash my kids' sheets once a month... if that much.

5. The tooth fairy frequently forgets to come to our house on the first night after a tooth is lost.

6. I have rarely allowed my kids to listen to "kid music" in the car, preferring instead to listen to my own radio station. I found it amusing that one of the first songs Caid knew all the words to was "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard.

7. I have allowed Gracie to stay home from school because I didn't feel like fighting about it when she told me she didn't feel good even though I knew she was well enough to go. Conversely, I have sent her to school when she said she didn't feel good and I thought she was faking, only to get a call from the school nurse an hour later telling me she has a fever of 100.

8. It is October 29, and I have not yet purchased or made my children's Halloween costumes. In fact, I'm still not sure what they will be.

9. I consider an oatmeal cream pie and a cup of Sunny D a balanced breakfast.

10. I write a blog telling tales that will surely embarrass my children some day... and quite possibly already does.

Smart man

Me: "Oh, yeah. I remember you telling me that now. You did tell me."

D: "Just assume from now on that I've told you everything you don't remember."

Was there a major for that in college?

Gracie: "When are you going to take us to the fair?"

Me: "When we get rich."

A moment of silent thought.

Gracie: "I think you or Dad need to get a job as a millionaire."

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooooooooooooo!

Project Life catch-up

I'm so behind in Project Life, I almost gave up. But I've been doing the Tony Horton 10-Minute Trainer workouts lately, and Tony says "Do your best, and forget the rest." So, I'm going to play catch-up here, and hopefully next Tuesday, I'll have a photo for each day of the week. It's been birthday season here, and I've been extraordinarily busy at work. Sometimes you get so busy living life that you forget to take pictures of it (and share them).  Here you go, a snippet from the past three weeks...

Friday, October 1 - Girls Weekend 2010 in North Myrtle Beach. Somehow Gail managed to snag us a limo!

Sunday, October 3 - My kids were happy to welcome me home. Nice to be missed.

Tuesday, October 5 - Jack's perch.

Thursday, October 7 - Caid's family birthday party. Birthday spankings were fun for everyone.

Friday, October 8 - Every year we have a bird who habitually attacks the window in our bedroom. Usually it's a cardinal, but this year it's a mockingbird.

Saturday, October 9 - I took the kids to Riverbanks to celebrate Caid and Jack's birthday. Caid's cute little friend, Colby, came with us. It was a fun day for all.

Monday, October 11 - Jack's family portrait. He's the largest figure with the heart shaped belly button. I'm the tiny one at the top. Wonder what a psychologist would say about this?

Wednesday, October 13 - Jack's birthday gifts to Sarah...a book by Jack, a magic wand made from wicker pulled out of the clothes basket and duct tape, a book pulled from his own shelf, pop rocks, a kazoo which he later took back, a pack of Reese's peanut butter cups, a magnet from our behavior chart, and a homemade card. As Sarah looked through the book, she asked him what a certain picture was. His answer: "a drawing."

Thursday, October 14 - playing a game with Jackie on my bed.

Friday, October 15 - Sarah and Evelyn Grace at Sarah's spend-the-night birthday party.

Saturday, October 16 -- Sarah, me, and Tammy at the Chris Tomlin concert - a great night.

Sunday, October 17 - my Sunday school class at St. Paul celebrating Carol's birthday.

Tuesday, October 19 - Caid lost a tooth. The tooth fairy actually remembered to show up!

Wednesday, October 20 - Sarah's first football game with the band. She only observed for her first game, but she had a great time and can't wait to play.

Friday, October 22 - Under the Tent - an evening benefiting Gravatt Camp and Conference Center. Here I am thanking folks.

Brotherly love

I've taken to eavesdropping on Caid and Jack when they are playing together...

 

Caid: "You're goofy." 

Jack: "You're goofy too." 

Caid: "No, I'm not. I'm regular."

 

and a few minutes later...

 

Caid: "Let me smell your butt, and then we'll play."

Jack: "Okay, let me smell your butt too."

Caid: "Here's a close-up."

 

I'd say they're both pretty goofy.

RIP Tom Bosley

Me (to my husband): "Did you hear the Tom Bosley died this week?"

Sarah: "Who is Tom Bosley?"

Me: "Happy Days?"

Sarah: "What's Happy Days?"

Me: "You know, the Fonz?"

Sarah: "Never heard of him."

I have neglected her education. We need to spend some time watching TV Land apparently.

Uhhh... awkward

Jack: "I want to be just like Dad when I grow up."

Me: "How do you want to be like Dad?"

Jack: "I want to take off my clothes and get in bed with Mom."

Uhhhh....

(Upon further investigation, we discovered he wants to sleep without a shirt. At least we think that's what he meant.)

Sunday is Church day

Jack: "What day comes after today?"

Me: "Wednesday."

Jack: "And then what day?"

Me: "Thursday."

Jack: "And then what day?"

Me: "Friday."

Jack: "And then what day?"

Me: "Saturday?"

Jack: "And then comes Sunday?"

Me: "Yes."

Jack: "Yayyyy!!! I can't wait to go to church."

Makes me happy.

I guess if Reagan can declare ketchup a vegetable...

Gracie told me she ate a cheeseburger, Cheetos, and sherbet for lunch today.

Me: "Did you have any fruit or vegetables?"

Gracie: "Yes."

Me: "Really? What?"

Gracie: "Pickles."

All growed up

Jack: "I can't watch Olivia. It's for babies. I'm four now."

D: "I like Olivia. Does that mean I'm a baby?"

Jack: "Yep."

One day I'll miss how he talks...

Jack: "Mommy look at my bunny. I dressed up it. Her name is Sista."

Invisible friend rejection

Jack told me that his best friend, Bracky, doesn't like him any more. Bracky is his invisible friend. It's pretty sad when your invisible friend turns on you.

Dad definitely cut the cheese

Kids were singing, "Who cut the cheese? Sarah cuts the cheese."

In order to stop a fight, I interjected, "No, Dad cut the cheese."

So they all started singing, "Who cut the cheese? Mom cut the cheese! Who cut the cheese? Mom always cut the cheese! Mom just cut the cheese! Mom keeps cutting the cheese! Who cut the cheese? Mom cut the cheese!"

For the record, I DID NOT CUT THE CHEESE!

Important fact: Sarah and Caid actually hate mushrooms

Gracie and I were shopping for Caid's birthday gift today.

G: "Let's get him mushrooms... and if he doesn't want them, he can give them to Sarah."

"I Don't Know"

I witnessed Jack drop a new ream of computer paper into the cat's water bowl and took off. When D came into the kitchen...

D: "Jack, what happened here?"

J (big shrug): "I dunno."

D: "Jack?"

J: "I dunno."

D: "Jack, it's okay if you dropped the paper. Accidents happen."

J (big sigh): "Phew! I thought you were going to call the policeman and tell them come throw my son, Jackie, in jail."

Birthdays

Jack: "Mom, thank you for my birthday!"

Me: "You're welcome, Jackie."

Jack: "No, I mean thank you for my next birthday."

(That would be approximately 358 days from now...)

I would like nothing better

Jack: "Smell my armpit."

Caid: "Yeah, Mom, smell mine too."

Let me get right on that.

Why did I even ask?

Me: "Why is there a banana on the dryer?"

Sarah: "Because Jack was shooting me with his banana gun."

Oh, of course!

Birthday Boy!

Today, Jack is 4. I just had to share a picture of the birthday boy and the cards that Gracie and Caid made for him...

Enjoying cupcake #1. Or rather, the icing of cupcake #1 since that's all the birthday boy eats.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Oreos are awesome, so are you. Dear Jack, Happy B-Day. I love u. I hope you have the best birthday ever. Luv, Gracie

Dear Jack, I hope you have the best birthday of all the three birthdays. So I hope you have the best birthday in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mispronunciation part 3

Jack's favorite snack: "Copcorn with parmaron cheese."

Project Life

Wednesday, September 15 - Sarah read to Jack There's a Monster at the End of this Book. I love that one - could read it over and over and over. As a matter of fact, I have read it over and over and over.

Thursday, September 15 - Out with my best girls. I am so thankful for these women and the laughs we share. Even though we waited 45 minutes for poor Diane's drink, we had a blast - as usual. Pictured: Angela, Linda, Diane, Tammy, (front) Cindy, me, and Josie. Not pictured for some reason even though they were present: Nancy and Lori. Also not pictures: our very slow, new waiter. It was only his third night.

Friday, September 17 - South Boundary in the rain, taking Gracie home from gymnastics. 

Saturday, September 18 - I took Caid to the Chris August / Chris Sligh concert at Stevens Creek Church in Augusta. As we left, he held his signed CD like it was gold, "I never got an actual autograph before." His favorite songs: I Like Candy by August and Rock Stars Need Money by Sligh.

Sunday, September 19 - Jack found his Halloween costume from two years ago and ran around acting like a monkey for the evening. No different than usual, but this time he had the costume to go with the act.

Monday, September 20 - I'm posting this picture mainly so my mom can see that I cleaned my bedroom. We also rearranged, and on Monday Gracie mopped the floor and washed the windows for me. I can breathe in here now. Happy day!

Tuesday, September 21 - I took the kids to the Jonny Diaz concert in Augusta. Great concert. Gorgeous weather. Big fun.I believe Caid took this picture of Sarah and me.

Disclaimer: I don't have any pictures of Gracie from this week, but she wouldn't get in front of the camera. I'm putting this here because one day she might read this, and she will think I love all the other kids better than her. Just want her to know THAT'S NOT THE CASE! I love you all the same!

When in France...

Riding down Broad Street in the "big city" of Augusta (kids were amazed at the tall buildings - wow, we live in the sticks), Caid said, "This looks just like French."

Mispronunciation part 2

The Superman Blessing according to Jack
(sing to the tune of the Superman theme song)

Thanks you Guys
for giving us spoons!
Thank you Guys
for giving us spoons!
For daily bread
that we may be fed!
Thank Guys
for giving us spoons!

Kiss the cook!

Caid: "Mom, I think you're a great cook. You should work in a food factory. And Warren* too. Because y'all both make good stuff. Or should can own a restaurant. Or you should be a chef. Because you make everything good. Oh I know! You should work at Ryan's."

*my stepdad, who apparently is better at making chili than I am because he puts pepper in his - even though I put pepper in mine too

Counting, manipulation, and rationalization

Jack: "I want chips."

Danny: "No chips."

Jack: "Just a couple."

Danny: "Okay, two."

Jack: "No, three chips."

Danny: "No, a couple is two. Three is a few."

Jack: "Okay, a few chips."

Danny: "You don't need a plate for three chips."

Jack: "Yes, I do."

Me: "Jack, why do you need a plate for three chips?"

Jack: "Because I don't know why I do."

Smells

Sarah: "Jackie, you know what you smell like? You smell like ham!"

Caid on love

When I picked up Caid from school today, he had some news for me.

Caid: "I'm not sure I should tell you this."

Me: "You can tell me anything, Caid."

Caid: "There's someone in my class who has a crush on me."

Me: "Oh. What does it mean to have a crush?"

Caid: "It means you're in love."

Me: "Well, do you have a crush on her too?"

Caid: "Not really. She kind of creeps me out."

Crisis averted. I am not ready for kindergarten romance!

Just in case

Jack: "I need a whole pack (of tissues) in case if I cry."

Project Life

I'm not doing so hot at remembering to take pictures every single day. Five out of seven this week.

Wednesday, September 8 -  Jackie playing peek-a-boo. I got him coming out of the covers.

Friday, September 10 - Friday night lights at our house. I attempted to get sky pictures, but my camera is not powerful enough. It was a gorgeous clear night with brilliant stars and a sliver of a moon.

Saturday, September 11 - Caid felt left out because I didn't take him to Aiken's Makin', so I suggested he and I take a walk. He allowed Jack to come too, but not his sisters. I caught him being very sweet to his little brother - helping him climb the "mountains." (If you know where we live, you know why "mountains" is in quotation marks.

Sunday, September 12 - Another walk. This time I took all the kids. It is precious to me when they actually act like they love each other. The walk ended with Caid attempting to ride on Sarah's back. She bent down for him to get up, and he ended up pole-vaulting over her back and face-planting in the sand. Blood. Screams. Tears. I threw him on my back and ran the rest of the way home (thank God for Couch to 5K training). 

Tuesday, September 14 - Two days after the above-mentioned face plant, and Caid's face looks so much better. Three pretty yucky scabs, but all the other red is gone. I skinned my knee three weeks ago, and he is definitely healing way faster than I did. I guess because his skin is younger than mine?

Caid's Question(s) of the Day

"Mom, how did God borned himself?"

and later...

"Mom, how did God borned the very first teacher?"

Quiet Time... yeah right!

Four kids invaded my space - loudly - today while I was trying to have a few moments of quiet. (Reading a good book called Meet Me at the Well, by the way.)

Me: "Hey, y'all... I'm kind of trying to be quiet here."

Sarah: "You can keep being quiet, Mom. We'll just make noise around you."

Gee thanks... that's exactly what I was looking for.

On invisible friends

Bracky is Jack's invisible friend. Usually she's a girl. She has blue hair and red eyes and is 3 1/2 feet tall. Bracky lives in a pineapple. She takes naps in Gracie's bed and tells Jack to do things we've told him not to do. She spits on the computer screen when she sneezes and sings funny songs. Today we learned she also has allergies...

Jack: "Bracky is allergic to eggs and people."

Me: "Really?"

Jack: "Yep."

Me: "What happens if Jack gets near people?"

Jack: "She will DISPLODE!"

Me: "Oh my! Well, what happens if she eats eggs?"

Jack: "She will get a rash and turn into a alien."

What's in a name?

Caid: "I don't want to be called Caid any more because actually Caid is not even really a real name. I've never even hear it before. And actually I don't feel comfortable being called Caid. I just want to be called Daniel."

Thank God for small favors

Caid (coming out of the bathroom): "Yes, Mom, I flushed it because you do NOT want to see what was in there."

One of life's hard lessons

Danny: "Sorry, Caid but the world does not revolve around you."

Caid: "What?!"

Danny: "Everything in the world cannot be what you want."

Caid: "WHAT?!!"

Project Life Tuesday

Apparently I forgot to take my camera out of the bag on Wednesday. And now I have no idea what I did that day. That's why pictures are important.

My MIL, Jewell visited us for a few days. The kids so look forward to her visits, and so do the grownups. Unfortunately, I was so tired, we couldn't stay up late and play cards.  Next time!

Jack's a little OCD. This is one of his "clubs" that he sets up around the house. He places each item in his club very precisely, and he knows if someone moves it. I had to dismantle this one in order that we could eat dinner, but it showed up later on a different surface.

End of our walk. Left to right - Caid, Sarah, Gracie, me, Jack.

The consummate host and master griller, Frank, at our YaWaY day-before-Labor-Day cookout.

Danny took this photo to make a point. Yes, it is true... I overstuff the trash can. Sue me.

Tuesday - I could have taken some great photos of some amazing women having way too much fun at my Premier Jewelry party... if I had remembered my camera.

The husband

Danny: "Should I be upset or glad that I haven't been mentioned in your blog?"

Me: "You should be glad. Very, very glad."

Duh part 2

Swimming in the lake...

Gracie: "Mom, what if a snake comes up and bites us?"

Me: "Then it will hurt."

Duh!

Gracie (putting something in the oven): "Mom, what if I burn my hand?"

Me: "It will hurt."

What was I supposed to say?

How we'll fund Sarah's college education...

Sarah gave me a great idea today. The kids were arguing over how high I should turn up the radio. Caid wanted it louder. Gracie wanted it softer. Jack wanted it off. She asked why each seat couldn't have a switch for it's own speaker. Brilliant! Maybe really expensive cars already have this invention, but I haven't seen it (since I drive a 2006 Caravan with 98,900 miles on it), so I told her, “That's a great idea, you should patent that. Then you will be a millionaire!”

Her reply: “Yeah, that's even better than my idea for canned bread.”

Why I might be schizophrenic...

I went for a walk with the kids tonight. It was so much fun. We walked about a mile and a half, and they managed to remain fight-free and whine-free for pretty much the entire way. Even when Sarah accidentally knocked Caid in the head, he didn't tear into her.

But it occurred to me that it is pretty amazing that I am capable of carrying out any coherent thought. The conversation went something like this...

Me: "It's the first star. Make a wish."

Gracie: "I can't tell you my wish because it won't come true."

Sarah: "That's actually Venus."

Caid: "Why are those lights on in there?"

Sarah: "What's the name of that song about being scared?"

Jack: "Maybe it's Christmas."

Caid: "Here's a stick."

Gracie: "Well, I'll tell you my wish because I don't think it's going to come true anyway."

Sarah: "Do you think Rachel is still here?"

Jack: "I think it's Christmas."

Gracie: "Do you want to hear my wish?"

Me: "If you want to tell me your wish, you can."

Caid: "Jack, it's not Christmas."

Sarah: "Do you think Rachel's brother is here?"

Gracie: "I wished that when we get home Dad will have us 50 pounds of cake."

Me: "Well, now it definitely won't come true."

Sarah: "I used to sing the song in preschool. Something going bump in the night."

Me: "That was a prayer, not a song. Against ghoulies and ghosties and long legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night, dear Lord deliver me."

Gracie: "Is Rachel's brother Harry Potter?"

Sarah: "No, that's not it. It's something about not being afraid."

Gracie: "About the bear hunt?"

Jack: "When is it going to be Christmas?"

Me: "December Jack. We have four months to go."

Caid: "When we get home I call computer."

Me: "When y'all get home you need to take showers and baths."

Sarah: "No, not about the bear."

Jack: "I want a pillow pet for Christmas."

Me: "Going on a bear hunt... but I'm not afraid.... I've got my gun..."

Gracie: "There's not gun. It's 'I've got my pack of crackers and my water.'"

Me: "What good is a pack of crackers going to do you on a bear hunt?"

Sarah: "There's not a bear."

Me: "Oh I remember...." And then we all broke out into song.

No wonder they didn't fight. It's like they were all in their own worlds! But what a wonderful time it was. We all came home giggling.

Such a sweet moment when they're all loving each other

We saw bats, so they all decided to be vampires.

Proud of my girl!

When I got home from work and the grocery store, Gracie met me at the car, "Mommy, Mommy, I have the best news!! I can't wait to tell you!! But you're going to need to come in and put your stuff down because you're going to want to hug me when you hear this!!!!"

(She was right... she was accepted into the gifted and talented program. I did have to put my stuff down to hug her.)

Project Life

I joined friends from St. Paul at USC Aiken on Wednesday to welcome students and invite them to the YaWaY service.

Girls Night Out at Maria's. I love my girls, and I love my margaritas!

We had a great time at Camp Kinard for the church picnic.

War with Caid.

Gerbil tombstone

Sarah's open house - she showed me what a pro she is at opening her locker. I know the quality is terrible, but all I had with me was my cell phone. Afterward we went to Sonic for dinner and lemon berry slushes. Sarah wanted me to put up the picture of me eating a foot-long coney, but I refused.

"Mom! Take our picture - you can put it on your blog!"

I'm sorry, did you want vanilla?

Jack: "What's for supper?"

Me: "Chicken."

Jack: "What flavor?"

Me: "Ummm... chicken flavored?"

Twilight hotties

Tonight on the way home from the grocery store Sarah asked me if I'm on Team Edward or Team Jacob. I told her Team Edward... except in the movies I like Jacob because he's hotter. Then I realized he's like still a teenager.

Does that make me a sicko?

Treasure Chest

We're stealing Caid's kindergarten teacher's idea and having a treasure chest for good behavior. She told me at open house last week that she wishes she could have a classroom full of Caids because he is so sweet and well behaved. "You mean Caid Yeargin?" I asked, "Are you sure you don't have him confused with another student?"

The treasure chest is obviously motivating him to do well in her class, so we told him that we would have a treasure chest at home too, and in order to earn treasures he has to be kind to his siblings and listen to his parents. He knew that today was the day I planned to go to the store to purchase items for the chest, and yet his behavior after school today was less than stellar.

I told him I didn't know if I even wanted to get the stuff to fill the box because of the way he was acting, and we sent him to sit on the couch.

As I walked out the door, he called to me, "Mom? Will you get me a surprise at the store? I've been good for a few minutes."

Telling time

Jack: "What time is it?"

Me: "12:39."

Jack: "Oh. That's a lot."

RIP P-Nut

When Sarah woke up this morning her beloved gerbil, P-Nut was dead. She called to me and I came to her room to inspect and be sure he was, in fact, dead. When I pronounced he had indeed passed, I watched her face for reaction. (When Caid killed her goldfish because he took it out of the tank to pet it a few years ago, she fell into hysterics, so I was ready.) She looked sad, and I put my arm around her to hug her.

With earnest eyes, she looked up at me (barely up, because my 11-year-old only has three inches until she catches up with me) and said, "You know what really stinks?"

Me, squeezing her shoulder: "Tell me."

Sarah: "I just cleaned his cage yesterday."

Guess it wasn't as traumatic as I feared.

Grandma Holly is Distinguished

We played Apples to Apples tonight. Sarah's adjective was "distinguished."

Caid: "What does distinguished mean?"

Me: "It's like someone you look up to. They've accomplished something. And they might have good manners. And speak properly."

Sarah: "Like Grandma Holly."

Caid: "You mean like old?"

Gift-Giving

Sarah was cleaning out her room today. She gave Caid a pen shaped like a crazy bird.

Sarah: "It's a pen but it doesn't work, so it's really just sort of a dude who sits there and gives you nightmares."

My Son, the Hottie

Caid: "I sort of have a little bit of a tan. If a boy has a tan, doesn't that mean girls will think he's a hottie?"

Mispronunciation

I love it when my kids mispronounce words... it makes life more interesting.

Today Caid was excited to find a "Praying Menace" in our yard.

Caid can turn anything into an insult...

Gracie: "We had biscuits and Frosted Flakes for breakfast at school yesterday. The biscuit was so good."

Me: "That's a lot of starch."

Caid: "I only ate the cereal because I didn't know what the other thing was. I wanted bread."

Me: "A biscuit is bread."

Caid: "Bread is square. Biscuits are round."

Gracie: "I've seen round bread that wasn't a biscuit. Bread can be round."

Caid: "You're round!"

Project Life Tuesday

I got this idea from The Mom Creative... This segment of my blog shall hereafter be called Project Life Tuesday. You can read more about Project Life creative here. Each Tuesday, I'll (attempt to) post one picture a day from the previous week - my own scrapbook per say. It's the best I can do. I had to admit to Caid and Jack tonight that they do not have baby books (Gracie's stops at 9 months). Maybe they'll forgive me if I'm actually able to keep up with this project. We'll see.

Anyway, this week's Project Life Tuesday only has three days because I only came up with this idea on Saturday night at midnight. If all goes well, next week I'll have seven pictures.

  We started Couch to 5K. This is the "after" picture on the day 1. Note my skinned knee. War injury already.

Shelly inspects P-Nut. P-Nut was not too thrilled.

Self portrait by Caid. He brought it home from kindergarten. He looks pissed. I wonder what his teacher thinks.

Morning

So this morning was pretty typical of mornings in my house. I woke up at 6 AM - just a few minutes before everyone else so that I could enjoy a few moments of peace before I rallied the troops. I woke each child (Sarah, Gracie, and Caid - not Jack, since he's not in school yet) first by gently shaking them. Then it began, pretty much like every other morning.

Have you ever watched Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory? Love that show. Last night I watched it and laughed because it seemed so familiar. This is kind of what it's like while I'm in the bathroom trying to get ready in the morning...


Seriously, I can get ready in 30 minutes - about ten in the shower if I wash my hair and 20 in the bathroom for makeup, hair, and clothes. If I don't wash my hair I can do it faster, but this morning I did wash my hair. It slows the process down considerably when you are interrupted every 45 seconds with a need, during half of which I am naked. The difference between my children and Sheldon is that he keeps knocking until someone opens. My kids knock once and then they open the door regardless of whether I respond.

So here are the numbers for this morning...

Number of times Gracie came in to tell me she was sick and can't go to school: two (if I took her to the doctor every time she says she has a stomachache or headache, I'd be accused of Munchausen by proxy).

Number of times Gracie came in to ask me which shirt to wear: one. (Number of times she actually wore the shirt I picked: zero.)

Number of times Caid came in to use the bathroom: one (we do have another bathroom but he doesn't like it because it has a window).

Number of times Caid requested that I button his pants: two. (Number of times I was soaking wet and naked during this request: one.)

Number of times Gracie asked to use my brush because she couldn't find hers: two.

Number of times Caid came in and sat on the edge of the tub to talk to me about nothing: two.

Number of times I had to leave the bathroom to make sure that Sarah had actually gotten out of bed: four.

Number of times Gracie asked me when I would be ready to go: two.

Number of times Caid asked me when I would be ready to go: two.

Number of times I had to remind Caid to lower his voice because his dad and brother were still sleeping: two.

Number of times Sarah informed me she called shotgun: one.

Number of times Gracie informed me that it's not fair Sarah always gets shotgun: seven.

Number of times I had to reheat my coffee because I got so distracted I forgot to drink it: two.

We made it out the door at 6:55. Not too shabby.

Dinner with the Yeargins...

Tonight at dinner, Gracie told Caid he looks like a girl - the ultimate put-down. Caid hauled off and hit Sarah, who was sitting next to him.

Sarah: "Hey! Gracie said it!"

Caid: "Yeah, but I couldn't reach her."

Caid's Question of the Day

If a mother borned a mother and that mother borned kids, wouldn't the mother be so proud and babysit sometimes?

Pressure

A clean page. The first post. I'm just sitting here waiting for my kids to say something funny so I can write it down. That's kind of a lot of pressure considering the number of people who have told me I need to write a book or keep a blog.

Jack is singing "I'm not wearing underwear today..." over and over. Is that good enough for a first post? (I haven't checked to see whether or not that's the truth. I'm kind of scared to know the answer.)