How Jack got borned

Jack: Which one do I need more? You or Dad?

Me: You need us both the same.

Jack: No, but which one do I need more?

Me: You need us exactly the same.

Jack: Well, I think I need you more because without you I couldn't have been borned.

Me: It took both me and Dad for you to get born.

Gracie: Well, it took both of them, but Mom had to do all the work.

Queens

Jack: You are the best mommy in the whole world. You are the queen of all mommies.

Me: Awww, thanks, Jackie.

Jack: Yeah, and Dad is the queen of daddies.

(And for the record, he says Sam and Louis are the king of all cousins.)

I swear we talk about more than sex at my house

Jack: I have a question.

Me: What is it?

Gracie: It better not be, "Where do babies come from?" Because if it is, the answer is Jupiter.

Jack: No it's not! Mom, where do babies come from?

Gracie: Jupiter!

Jack: No, Mom, really... where do they come from?

Me: Babies come from mommies and daddies.

Jack: But not really from daddies.

Me: Well, mommies and daddies make them, and then they live in the mommy's belly.

Jack: Yeah, and then they come from their GINAS!

Gracie: You should have just said Jupiter.

Jack: I'm going to go get Sarah to ask ChaCha where babies come from.

Google is stalking me

I've been working on my blog for the first time in awhile. I scrolled down and noticed that in the spot where I used to have a page hit counter, it said "serotonin reuptake inhibitor." What the heck? Is Blogspot snooping in my medicine cabinet?

I have a new counter now. Full disclosure, I started the count at 9253, which is a legitimate number according to my Blogspot stats... even if my mom and I account for 9000 of those.

More sex ed at the Vicarage

Daniel (Caid): Mom, how did you have Jack?

Sarah: Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...

Gracie: And then they go to a party...

Me: And have too much to drink...

(Oh my goodness, did I really say that? Jack, I love you, and I'm not a bit sorry I had too much to drink that night.)

I keep forgetting he can read so well now

Daniel (Caid) looking over my shoulder last night at an inappropriate cartoon: "Wow, Mom. I didn't know you do cool stuff when you're on the internet."

Planning for my grandchildren

I don't even know how we got on the topic at dinner.

Jack: I want to only have one kid. No wait. I want to have two. But they're going to be twins. Because I only want to do it one time.

Sarah: Oh Jack, you'll change your mind one day.

Ahhhhh!!!!!

Ummm....

Jack wants to know my favorite thing with electricity... Do batteries count?

True love

Jack: I love you so much. I love you more than anything. Wait. I love you and Dad the same amount. And also tacos and Cow.

Me: You love me and Dad the same as you love tacos and Cow?
 
J: Yes and also the same as strawberries, bananas, and Kool Aid Jammers. (Pause) Because I want to be healthy.
 
Glad to know I rate up there with tacos and Kool Aid Jammers.