All in the family

Jack: God and Jesus are the same person, right?

Me: Yes.

Jack: And God is the dad of Jesus, right?

Me: Right.

Jack: So does that mean we can call Jesus "God Jr?"

How Jack got borned

Jack: Which one do I need more? You or Dad?

Me: You need us both the same.

Jack: No, but which one do I need more?

Me: You need us exactly the same.

Jack: Well, I think I need you more because without you I couldn't have been borned.

Me: It took both me and Dad for you to get born.

Gracie: Well, it took both of them, but Mom had to do all the work.

I swear we talk about more than sex at my house

Jack: I have a question.

Me: What is it?

Gracie: It better not be, "Where do babies come from?" Because if it is, the answer is Jupiter.

Jack: No it's not! Mom, where do babies come from?

Gracie: Jupiter!

Jack: No, Mom, really... where do they come from?

Me: Babies come from mommies and daddies.

Jack: But not really from daddies.

Me: Well, mommies and daddies make them, and then they live in the mommy's belly.

Jack: Yeah, and then they come from their GINAS!

Gracie: You should have just said Jupiter.

Jack: I'm going to go get Sarah to ask ChaCha where babies come from.

The question game with Jack

Jack just came in and sat on my lap and began asking questions...

J: "Are aliens real?"

Me: "No."

J: "Are martians real?"

Me: "No."

J: "Are robot dogs real?"

Me: "Ummm.... I don't think so."

J: "Are buttons to destroy the world real?" (What TV shows is he watching?)

Me: "No. Definitely not."

J: "Whose father will I be?"

Me: "Your child's."

J: "Whose grandfather will I be?"

Me: "When your child has a child, you'll be their grandfather."

J: "Oh, so I'll be a grandfather when my child has a child?"

Me: "That's right."

I guess that satisfied him because then he jumped down and ran off.

Church with a 4-year-old

In the middle of church today, Jack whispered loudly, "Mom, have I seen God before?"

Me: "Yes."

Jack [pause]: "Well, I don't remember what he looks like."

And then about 60 second later, he tapped me again and whispered, "Mom, when I'm 9 or 7 or 8, can I have a guinea pig?"

Heard 'round the house this Easter

Gracie: "Mom next time the Easter Bunny comes, can we get some whipped cream, because I'm pretty sure he likes whipped cream on his carrots... and then we can have the leftovers."

Caid: "So Mom, is the Easter Bunny really real, or is it just Jesus or something?"

Caid (after we wrote the Easter Bunny a letter): "Mom, since the Easter Bunny doesn't have opposable thumbs, we probably shouldn't expect him to write us back, right?"

And here's the letter:

Translation: 

Dear Mr. Easter Bunny, Happy Easter! 

Hope you are doing well!! Do you like Cadbury chocolate eggs? The commercial says that you do. We are looking forward to Easter because Easter is the day Jesus rose from the dead and Jesus is my home boiii. 

Happy Easter again, with love, 

Sarah, Gracie, Caid, Jack 

p.s. Write on the back

 Translation:

Hello Yeargin Family:
You have lots of questions - so here is my bullet list of answers:

1.My Bunny helpers are fine, and I hard at work. I don't call them minions.
2. I love Cadbury chocolate eggs! I love chocolate!
3. Remember, Jesus allowed himself to die for you so that you will have eternal life through Christ. I'm glad he is your Home Boy!!!
4. And Caid - you're right. I don't have opposable thumbs. But I am the Easter Bunny. I have magic, so I can write! You are a very smart boy! Best nice to your brother and sisters.

The Easter Bunny

PS Gracie, share the crazy beans! They are for everyone!

Also thanks for the carrot! That's my favorite snack!

In spite of what you might think, I am not God

Caid: "Mom, if God made everything, who made God?"

Me: "Um, I don't know. God just is. He was just there."

Caid: "Oh, so he just appeared and made everything?"

Me: "Yeah, I guess?"

Jack: "Why did God make everything?"

Me: "I guess he was bored and lonely. I don't know. He's just God. He can do what he wants to."

Caid: "What's tae-kwon-do?"

Me: "It's sort of like karate."

Jack: "Like kung fu?"

Me: "Yes, sort of. I think."

Caid: "Isn't Jack too young to do tae-kwon-do? I think it's too violent for him."

Me: "I think he'll be okay."

Jack: "Why is it called a Master?"

Caid: "Do you think he'll get hurt?"

Me: "A what? No, he'll be fine."

Jack: "Why is it a Master?"

Me: "What in tae-kwon-do? I don't know. That's just what they call it."

Caid: "Jack! Mom doesn't know everything. She's not God. If she was God she would know the answer."

Caid's Question(s) of the Day

"Mom, how did God borned himself?"

and later...

"Mom, how did God borned the very first teacher?"

Duh part 2

Swimming in the lake...

Gracie: "Mom, what if a snake comes up and bites us?"

Me: "Then it will hurt."

Duh!

Gracie (putting something in the oven): "Mom, what if I burn my hand?"

Me: "It will hurt."

What was I supposed to say?

I'm sorry, did you want vanilla?

Jack: "What's for supper?"

Me: "Chicken."

Jack: "What flavor?"

Me: "Ummm... chicken flavored?"

Caid's Question of the Day

If a mother borned a mother and that mother borned kids, wouldn't the mother be so proud and babysit sometimes?