A lesson in rhyming words

Jack (standing in front of the door): "Mommy, what's the password?"

Me: "Uh, I don't know. Can you give me a hint?"

Jack: "It rhymes with honey."

Me: "Funny."

Jack: "No."

Me: "Sunny."

Jack: "No."

Me: "Punny?"

Jack: "Uh-Uh."

Me: "Bunny?"

Jack: "No."

Me: "Money???"

Jack: "Nope."

Me: "Runny!"

Jack: "NO!"

Me: "Dunny?"

Jack: (shakes his head)

Me: "Can you give me another hint?"

Jack: "It's an animal."

Me: "It's an animal that rhymes with honey, and it's not 'bunny?'"

Jack: "No."

(30 seconds silence as we have a staring contest)

Me: "Oh! BEE!"

Jack: "YES!!!"

I think I need to get the boy a rhyming dictionary.

Heard 'round the house this Easter

Gracie: "Mom next time the Easter Bunny comes, can we get some whipped cream, because I'm pretty sure he likes whipped cream on his carrots... and then we can have the leftovers."

Caid: "So Mom, is the Easter Bunny really real, or is it just Jesus or something?"

Caid (after we wrote the Easter Bunny a letter): "Mom, since the Easter Bunny doesn't have opposable thumbs, we probably shouldn't expect him to write us back, right?"

And here's the letter:

Translation: 

Dear Mr. Easter Bunny, Happy Easter! 

Hope you are doing well!! Do you like Cadbury chocolate eggs? The commercial says that you do. We are looking forward to Easter because Easter is the day Jesus rose from the dead and Jesus is my home boiii. 

Happy Easter again, with love, 

Sarah, Gracie, Caid, Jack 

p.s. Write on the back

 Translation:

Hello Yeargin Family:
You have lots of questions - so here is my bullet list of answers:

1.My Bunny helpers are fine, and I hard at work. I don't call them minions.
2. I love Cadbury chocolate eggs! I love chocolate!
3. Remember, Jesus allowed himself to die for you so that you will have eternal life through Christ. I'm glad he is your Home Boy!!!
4. And Caid - you're right. I don't have opposable thumbs. But I am the Easter Bunny. I have magic, so I can write! You are a very smart boy! Best nice to your brother and sisters.

The Easter Bunny

PS Gracie, share the crazy beans! They are for everyone!

Also thanks for the carrot! That's my favorite snack!

He's probably scarred for life

The other night I woke up when my husband got in the bed. There were already two boys sleeping in bed with me. What a lucky woman I am. So D and I were having a private conversation - nothing X-rated mind you, but not appropriate for 4- and 6-year-old ears.

D: "I sure hope they aren't awake and listening to us."

I picked up Jack's arm and dropped it on the bed - evidence that he was oblivious to his surroundings. "Jack is definitely out."

D: "I think Caid is sound asleep too."

Me (whispering): "Caid, are you awake?"

No response.

Me (whispering): "Caid, would you like a lollipop?"

Caid immediately popped up: "A lollipop?"

Oops.

Self assurance

Jack: "Hey Mom, look at me... am I hot?"

Me: "Yes, you're hot."

Jack: "Are my teeth shiny?"

Me: "Yes, and that makes you very hot."

Wishing to be fired

Jack: "Dad, bring me some French fries."

Me: "Jack, Dad is not your servant. Go get your own French fries."

Jack: "Yes, he is. I haven't fired him yet."

Jack doesn't speak the language

At work this evening, a 3-year-old boy wanted Jack to play Star Wars with him. Reluctantly, he followed me to where the boy was leading. I returned to my seat, and a few minutes later Jack came back.

Jack: "I don't know what he's saying. I can't even speak 'baby talk.'"

Really, you were fluent just a few months ago. What happened?

One pea, two bites mashed potatoes, three bites meatloaf, and chocolate cake... that's balance

Jack: "Mom, can I have dessert now?"

Me: "Did you eat your peas?"

Jack: "Well, some of them."

Me: "How many?"

Jack: "I don't zactly remember."

Me: "Well, after that first one, did you eat any more?"

Jack: "No. Mom, just give me some cake now."

Lazy children

I think I could do a series of posts on excuses my children give for needing me to do their work.

Caid: "Mom, can you go get me some AA batteries?"

Me: "No, Caid, you go get them."

C: "But I don't really feel like getting up and getting them."

Me: "Well, I don't feel like it either, and you're the one who needs them."

C: "How do you know? Maybe Sarah needs them. Or maybe Shelley needs them. Even though she doesn't have opposable thumbs or anything."

Inspirational People (Step by step info on how to be a better person)... by Sarah Yeargin

My inspiration wrote a book about how to be a better person. Proud of my girl. Sarah gave me permission to post here but asked me to tell you it's copyrighted. She's planning to make her first million with this one. You saw it here first, and you can say "you knew her when..."

Ketchup counts too

Aunt Kristen: "Jack you should try at least one vegetable."

Jack: "Are potatoes a vegetable?"

Kristen: "Yes."

Jack: "Well, then I'll have chips."