Things I never thought I'd hear myself say #1

"Don't hit your sister with a rubber chicken."

When Mommy is sick and Aunt Kristen takes the kids to church...

I'm sick today and stayed home from church. My "saint' of a sister took the kids to church for me and is now on her way home. I copied this from FB and don't know how to make it look pretty, but you can get the gist...

Kristen Sojourner

So this is the game: Which is your favorite: (insert four totally random objects)? Then debate why with car full of children, followed by being told how dumb that is. It's called Trip to Insane Island.

• You like this.
• • 
    

    Lauri SoJourner Yeargin Hey, I've played that game! Are you updating your FB while you drive my children?

A reasonable request

Caid: "Mom, will you teach me how to ride a two-wheeler?"

Me: "Sure."

Jack: "Mom, will you teach me how to ride an octopus?"

??????

Disclaimer

I have this child, whose name I won't mention, who has asked me to stop writing about her on my blog unless I get her express permission. So let the record show that I have deleted a couple of posts that apparently embarrassed her, have untagged her in a couple, and have agreed that I will ask permission to post her quotes from here on out. So if you notice that one of my kids gets a lot less press than the other three, it's not that I love her less or that she is less hilarious. It's just that I'm trying to respect her and keep the peace. I know at some point she'll bring this up and say I don't love her as much as the rest because I don't write about her, but I'm here to say she made me make this change. Her name starts with G, but that's the only hint I'm giving. And note that I'm not tagging her in this post. That's just the kind of mom I am.

Pressure!!

So this weekend, the kids and I've been invited to visit a friend of mine's farm to ride ponies, paddle boat, fish, swim, etc. We're all looking forward to it. The catch: she fully expect them to say "witty things full of humor and pathos" just as I have reported. I hope they don't let me (or her) down! This will be the one and only time they shut their mouths and behave themselves.

If I had a dollar for every person who didn't give me a million dollars...

Tonight, I played UNO with Gracie, Caid, Jack, and Aunt Kristen. Gracie won the second game, and (taking after her Aunt Kristen, who does not set a very good example), she gloated loudly. Jack got fed up, and punched her in the chest. Even I could tell that hurt.

Me: "Jack, it is never okay to hit your sister. You love Gracie. Do not hit her."

Jack: "Yeah, but she never even gives me a real million dollars."

Well, in that case, I guess we should all be punching Gracie.