All in the family

Jack: God and Jesus are the same person, right?

Me: Yes.

Jack: And God is the dad of Jesus, right?

Me: Right.

Jack: So does that mean we can call Jesus "God Jr?"

Wisdom about boys

Monday night I made BBQ bacon chicken with cheese, and it was a success. I told the kids that Tmid (tall man I dated) gave me the recipe. Jack said, "I think Tmid still likes you."

Me: Yeah, he does.

Jack: I knowed y'all would probably break up because you and him probably weren't made for each other.

....

Tuesday morning on the way to school I told the kids I have a date Friday. The questions began... How did you meet him? What does he look like? Gracie asked if he is man enough to wear pink and if he had to choose would he watch a movie with Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling. That remains to be seen.

Jack: Why are you going on a date?

Me: Well, you said Tmid and I weren't made for each other so I figured I would go out with someone else.

Jack: Do you know how you can make sure a boy likes you?

Me: No, how?

Jack: You just have to laugh at everything he says and then bite your tongue.

Well played, Jack. You are wise beyond your years.

This is the best blog ever

Next to my blog of course, this is the best blog on the planet... www.harmoniouschaos13.blogspot.com. Seriously. It's awesome. It's by my daughter. She gets that from me. <3

The True Meaning of Easter

Jack: Only 18 more days until Easter!

Gracie, who along with me gave up fried food for Lent: Yay! Only 18 more days until I can eat fried food!

Me: Only 18 days until we celebrate the risen Christ.

Gracie: Right, that's what I meant. I always get those two confused.

Bread

Gracie: Why does every loaf of bread have those two disgusting pieces on each end?

Sarah received an early morning text

   

It's hereditary

Jack (after removing his shirt at the dinner table): Why am I so sexy?

Me (shaking my head): I don't know where you came from.

Gracie: Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much...

Daniel: And they go to a party...

Gracie: And then they get drunk...



Oh my, I need to rethink things I say that I don't think my children will understand or remember.

Video: Jack shakes the booty - an exercise tutorial

Video: I'm eating and I know it

Video: I'm flossing and I know it

Autographs only

Sarah: Jack, you're just so cute, can I have a hug so I can absorb your cuteness?

Jack: EWWWW...  NO YOU CAN HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH BUT NOT A HUG!!!! 

Dress shopping

The scene: dress shopping with Sarah and Gracie. Sarah invites us into her dressing room to give feedback on the dress she is trying on.

Me: Uh, no. You are showing too many boobs.

Sarah: I only have two. How many am I supposed to show?

Gracie: Wait. That's all I have. Are you supposed to have more than two? I think I'm broken.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie!

Sarah (to Daniel and Jack): Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Daniel and Jack: No!

Later...

Sarah: Jack, you know it's a good thing for a girl to have a big butt?

Jack: Oh, that's good because I was lying earlier when I said your butt didn't look big.

When you have done it to the least of these...

Last night, Jack brought me a Ziploc baggie full of coins: Mom, I want to donate this money to charity.

Me: Wow, Jack that is really awesome. I'm so proud of you. What charity would you like to donate your money to?

Jack: Oh, I don't know. I guess I'll give it to the hobos. Do you know any hobos?

I don't know any hobos personally, but I told him that tomorrow I'm going to visit a place tomorrow that helps hobos and that I could give them his money. He said, "Okay, just tell them it's from Jack." Then he wrote this note to give to the hobos:

"You're welcome. Jack Ross Yeargin"